Thursday, September 8, 2011

A sky full of sparkle

Most of my life has been catered to me. To not just meet my needs but to also meet my wants. As I grew up and became independant I continued that way of living-meeting my wants however I pleased-buying what I wanted, being friends with who I wanted, going wherever I wanted. Life's choices were designed around, "Will this make me happy?"

Happiness is fleeting. It is great to have but it makes no promises. And the condition of myself was defined by it. God doesn't promise me happy days and I have learned that fleeting happiness doesn't satisfy. It is fun. And fun is good. But it doesn't quench the soul's thirst.

God's Word is eternal and praise the Lord it is tangible. I have in my hands God living, God active and God seen. The more I drink of it the more it satisfies. Even in days that lack a happy thing.

I have a track record of controlling and manipulating to get what I want. (Poor Brian has recieved the grunt of it) I controlled and manipulated because I wanted happy. I didn't believe that God cared about my heart that way so I set out to make things happen for me.

Oh how I was wrong. I clawed and chewed my way to get my sparkle but little did I know that just around the corner was a sky full of sparkle.

It's not easy for me to be still. To wait. To listen. To be patient. I am a woman of action. I make things happen. But the beauty of the satisfied soul I have found in the stillness, in the waiting and in the listening. God has given me a sky full of sparkle in the growing oneness in a marriage, peace deep within and a trust in a God that satisfies like nothing else.